Sunday, March 29, 2009

eye stuff

Sometimes I forget that this blog began with a grim diagnosis coupled with a car crash. The eye and the car have both been replaced, with varying degrees of success. My car is pretty fabulous: a little white Toyota Rav-4 with a pug nose and sexy lines (in an athletic sort of way).  It goes pretty fast and, with my many custom-cool mirrors attached, my visibility is really good.  Weirdly, I can parallel park better than ever.
My prosthetic eye is another story. It is beautiful, that is for sure.  Michael painted it for me, following some vague directions about echoing the colors of my favorite turquoise ring. I was hell-bent on an artistic prosthetic. It is a work of art, I thought. It is but another way to express oneself, I reasoned. I can tell you that the usual responses to it are 1) wow, it sure looks real! and 2) why is it a different color?  So, in terms of aesthetics, mission accomplished, sort of.
What is lacking, to some extent, is what opthamologists refer to as "horizontal motility", or the ability of my prosthetic to move from one side to the other.  The up-and-down movement is pretty good-at least within the realm of normal eye movement.  We just don't peer WAY up or WAY down that often.  The problem comes when I am looking at you from a slightly sideways perspective. My artistic prosthetic stubbornly stares off somewhere in the distance while the real one works the way it should, giving me a rather cross-eyed appearance. 
My friends assure me that this is not noticeable with glasses on, but I am aware of it, and no more than when I am a close huddle with my little guys at school. It just looks a little weird.
Fortunately, there is a solution: the peg.  Here is what happens: the occular surgeon drills a little hole in your implant, and inserts a titanium peg in it that sticks out a little bit.  Then, the occularist, Mike in my case, makes a little dent in the back of my prosthetic, into which the little peg fits. As a result, the prosthetic eye articulates back and forth in concert with the other one, with a few adjustments here and there.
I consult with the surgeon at the end of April and we take it from there. 
A good day to read to all out there in the universe.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey darlin'

Time is flying by. So glad you've kept the blog. For you, I'm excited that you're going ahead with the peg. I hope it does all that it can in terms of range of motion and what you hope it to do. Although, I know you know - you're so beautiful as you are!

I was touched to tears as I read through your rememberance of Annie Lane. I know I was there for the funeral services, but I'm so sorry that I wasn't really there for you, I remember feeling so inadequate and I'm just thankful that others enveloped you with the compassion you needed and deserved. I was just so stupid back then, I'm sorry. Perhaps the next time I'm in Holland we can go together to bring her flowers. It would be good to say hello/goodbye to my little niece.
Love you always, Deborah