Monday, March 3, 2008

Monday night, March 3

Three weeks post-op today.  Annie went back to Chicago with her car loaded with the accumulation of four+ weeks here in Holland...thank you, my girl, for being here through all of this.  I have appreciated having people around and will continue to need to stay connected with all of you as time goes on and this adventure keeps unfolding. It is certainly one of hills and valleys and I must admit to being in a valley now and then lately. I think that the reality of the loss of my eye and its vision are settling in now.   The surgery is over, the cancer is (hopefully) gone, the swelling and bruising are almost a memory...and now for the rest of my life!  Realizing that what I am looking at today is going to be the "new normal" is a bit of a blow at times. I am sure that my other senses will step up to the plate and round out my sensory experience as time goes on, but today, I missed the richness of my former visual experience. Of course, I need only remind myself that I at least HAVE vision to get out of that line of thinking in a hurry.

I have joined a website called, a message board and info forum started by a man who had the same thing I did-interocular melanoma.  It is a great find, full of resources and supportive, upbeat people who are going through the same thing I am, or who are long past this stage and leading happy and productive lives.  There are so many different reasons that people become blind in one eye and the stories are as varied as the people who write them. I am relieved to post questions and concerns and have them addressed by those who know.  It is important to check sources, too--I got on one site that had misleading stats about longterm survival from my cancer and it scared me to death until I read further and realized that it wasn't accurate information.  My friends, this is one heck of an education.

I drove home from a meeting in the dark tonight and it went fine.  The lights threw me a little but I quickly adapted. 

Thanks to Jan for the call today, and to Nathan for coming over and helping with the license plate on the RAv. Also to Jade the Warrior Princess for stopping by for a cuppa after work. All of you got me through the day!
As always, so thankful for my life and for my friends and family....feeling a little somber tonight, I guess, and like the road is a long one ahead, but also knowing tht I am safely held throughout....
love you guys....

1 comment:

annie hagar said...

mam! i got home quickly (traffic was a breeze) and unloaded the car with relative ease. there was some huffing (and maybe a little grunting) involved, but aside from that..

anyway, everyone in chicago is asking about you and i think you get to look forward to a carload of twenty-somethings invading your house sometime this fall.

i'll be back in a few weeks!