Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Hump Day

Hello, all,
I woke up at five am with my eye hurting and stumbled in to the den where Jon was crashed out on the aerobed. He got me meds and rubbed my temples til I went back to sleep. I realized that my two eyes are moving in tandem, and of course, it is hard to even be conscious of your eyes moving, but wow, my new eye is just getting the hang of it.
Dr. Aaberg implanted a new orb where my eyeball used to be. It is made of a porous material that allows the muscles of my eye to grow right into it. This part of the prosthesis, Dr. Aaberg said, will become " a part of my body". Imagine that! It makes me think of a rattan matt that I put at the bottom of the deck steps a few years ago. I have watched it turn into the ground. It is now hard to see where the matt stops and the grass roots begin. I like to think of the inside of my eye as a beautiful organic thing that is busily healing itself and creatively putting itself back together.
The trouble this morning seemed to be that, without the big sturdy pressure patch, it felt very fragile, like someone forgot to put the packing material in the box and things were rattling around a little. So, I remembered the patches that Carolyn and Stephanie made me. I put on the on with rhinestone shooting stars on it. It pushed gently against my new orb and made it feel safe and snug. I have been wearing it all day and it feels so great.
My eye looks like I got in a big fight and I have quite a shiner continuing to evolve under my eye-the blood is pooling, but not much swelling. My eyelid is mostly shut, and I have to use a cotton ball and this nice eyewash that Debbie found to clean it off during the day because it is still kind of weepy. There is a shiny contact lens thingie in my eye that is protecting the shape of my eyelid, so it looks like my old eye is still in there a little. It isn't creepy like I was afraid it would be. It is just, as Carolyn would say, " the new normal."
I have been able to back off on the pain meds today, which is good, and I am a little less sleepy and stoned as a result...also getting my appetite back, which is also aaided by the fact that there is a ton of yummy food in this house thanks to my loved ones....tonight, Jane Lowe made me delicious vegetarian bean soup-so colorful and spicy with delicious whole whear rolls. The Sheldon Woods staff sent us an edible fruit bouquet with pineapple flowers that was just fabulous (and how artistic can you get?) Thank you, wonderful and kind people. I also got notes and pictures from student artists that are delightful and make me anxious to get back to work.

I found out today that my Uncle John had a stroke that affected Broca's area- the part that controls speech. He is expected to improve, but he and his wife Marilyn and kids must be worried for him and scared to death. For those of you who don't know, My Uncle John is an amzaing man, a brilliant orthopedic surgeon who was a hero in World War II. He still had a full surgical schedule at 82 and only recently retired. I hope that some of that Hayes resilience will stay with me and I am proud to be his neice.

My vision is sometimes so clear and full that it makes me laugh. How can this be, I wonder? I can just see. What an adventure.
I love you guys. Thanks and sleep tight tonight.

No comments: